The Mission Series: Day ThirtyOne  Hot Hot Hot!
by Obi the Kid
Summary: 5th in the series.


TITLE: The Mission Series - Day Thirty-One: Hot Hot Hot!

AUTHOR: Obi the Kid

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: Pre-TPM. It was a long and boring mission…

FEEDBACK: Yes, please.

The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.

Day Thirty-One: Hot Hot Hot!

They were a month into the mission. There was no end in sight. Qui-Gon and

Obi-Wan were doing what they could to make the best of it. At the very least the weather was ideal here on Galos. And most of their evenings were peacefully spent on the outside balcony of their suite resting themselves with meditation, study or easy conversation. A small cool breeze seemed a constant. To the Jedi, it was a nice change from the smoggy, often humid climate of Coruscant.

It was with all of this in mind that Obi-Wan noticed the sweat dripping down the

side of his master's face as they sat in the meeting hall during the latest round

of negotiations between Governor Palto, Mayor Surrato and the planets other representatives. Qui-Gon seemed completely calm, and Obi-Wan found it curious that the older Jedi was perspiring as he was. Moving his hand up to his temple to try and rub some of his intensifying headache away, Obi-Wan then notice that he was sweating as well. He cupped his hands around the cold drink on the table in front of him. It felt good against the sudden and rapidly increasing warmth of the large room.

Others however, did not seem the least bit affected. The windows were open. The sun was bright outside. But the cool breeze that usually flowed briskly thru those windows was now hot and sticky. The apprentice began to feel closed in. He shed his robe as the temperature continued to rise. Still no others were affected. Taking a quick moment to lean towards his master, Obi-Wan wiped the sweat from his eyes with the sleeve of his robe which now hung over the back of his chair.

"Master, did you notice the temperature in here?"

"It has gotten a bit warm, hasn't it?" He shrugged his robe off.

"Not warm. No. I'm begging to feel like I'm being roasted over a fire pit. It's hotter than a Sith's hell. And all within the past half hour. Why isn't anyone else feeling this? Surely the politicians can't be spewing out that much hot air. Can they?"

As the talks and the political hot air continued to cloud the talks yet again, the temperature continued to rise. Both Jedi were almost panting for breath now, caught between trying to fan themselves with their hands, using the Force to calm their quickly fraying patience and attempting to listen to what the supposed leaders of this planet were saying as the negotiations moved towards nowhere in particular.

Obi-Wan's hair was now completely wet. His tunic was soaked to the skin. His face glistened with warm sweat. Whispering to Qui-Gon once more, he said "Master, I can't concentrate in this heat. My head feels ready to explode."

The master nodded and stood up abruptly. Mayor Surrato, who had the floor at the time, took a step back, obviously unprepared for Qui-Gon's quick rise from the chair. "Master Jinn, do you object to something I've brought to the table?"

"No, Mayor. Actually I object to this heat. I'm not sure why Obi-Wan and I seem to be the only ones suffering with this right now, but as you can see, our clothes are soaking wet from perspiring. I would like to call and end to these sessions for the day. Or at least until this heat clears out. This is all quite confusing to me. Perhaps you can explain what is happening, why it's so hot so suddenly."

Surrato was somewhat puzzled and none too happy with the interruption. "This is our planet. We have adapted to it. I believe you Jedi are able to adapt to sudden changes as well. We shall continue…now…"

Qui-Gon shook his head. "Then you'll have to continue with out us, I'm afraid.

We are unable to adapt to this type of heat. It's difficult to breathe, or to even hold our heads up. We shall try again tomorrow. Please excuse us." And with that, he turned his back to the room, motioned for Obi-Wan to step with him, and they hurried out, desperate to find cooler air.

Something they were unable to locate.

Their suite was hotter than the meeting hall, if that was at all possible. Obi-Wan threw his robe onto the couch then quickly scanned the room for any sign of an air cooling device.

"You won't find what you're looking for, Obi-Wan. There is no room heating unit or cooling unit here. I don't think they have them anywhere. And we haven't needed them until now." Qui-Gon stripped off his outer tunic only to find his lighter inner tunic also drenched.

"These people are all crazy. They argue about nothing. They fight about nothing. And they don't have anyway to stay cool." As Obi-Wan's temper began to heat up, there was a chime at the door. Maltos, the governor's aid strolled into the room.

His thin blue frame completely unaffected by the scorching temperatures.

"Master Jinn. Knight Kenobi. I thought I'd come explain what it happening, since you seem most affect by our planet's current phenomenon."

"Phenomenon? Feels more like we've been transported to it's nearest sun."

Qui-Gon placed a hand on Obi-Wan's arm to try and cool his temper a bit. The boy nodded instantly and withdrew a few steps away from Maltos.

"I certainly understand your concern, Knight Kenobi. More of the time our weather is as perfect at one can find in the galaxy. As noted by the absence of any conditioning devices that affect the temperature of the air. However every so often, large weather waves wrap around us and we experience either extreme heat or extreme cold. Don't worry too much. It won't last longer than forty-eight hours. Then all will be normal. Until then, I'd recommend that you remain away from the meeting hall and the negotiations. I know you are aware of how much additional hot air comes from that area during the day." A sneaky smile floated across the being's mouth as he move his gaze between the two Jedi.

Nodding, Qui-Gon accepted the humor, as he knew Maltos was aware of their discomfort and was doing what he could to lighten the mood a bit. "We appreciate you taking the time to explain this, Maltos. You've been more than helpful while we've been here. So, you're saying we need to wait this out?"

"I'm afraid so. A cold bath and cold drinks might help. But other than that, I am unable to offer any relief."

"I think…" Before Qui-Gon could finish his sentence, Obi-Wan had haul-tailed it

out of the room in the direction of the bathroom. All the big Jedi heard before the bathroom door slid shut was "I've got dibs on the tub, Master!"

Obi-Wan was spent. He'd taken five cold showers. Had countless cold drinks and he was still on fire. He lay half sprawled on the couch, one leg and one arm hanging off the side. Clothed in a pair of short pants and a light, airy under-tunic, it was all he could do to keep from melting into a puddle on the carpet. A quick glace at Qui-Gon, he saw that his teacher was sitting on the floor, close to the freezer unit, his eyes closed, but he was not settled. "Master, you should just get in the freezer unit. Go ahead. I'll let you out when this passes. At least one of us should be permitted to survive the next couple days so that we can then die the inevitable and painful death brought on by extreme boredom of this mission. Force I am HOT! I hate this. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it."

Blue eyes didn't open, but Qui-Gon spoke with an exhaustion in his voice that Obi-Wan had never heard before. "Obi-Wan, please. You sound like a four year old. If you stop thinking about the heat, you will not be so hot."

"Yeah. Sure. And how has that been working for you, Master?"

Jinn opened his eyes and focused on his student. "It's not. But when you talk, you just expel more hot air."

"Maybe I should stop breathing too. No wait, that might actually happen soon if it doesn't cool off on this planet!!!!"

Qui-Gon stood and walked towards the couch. "I am going to get a cold bath. You stay out here and study. You've been slack on your studies lately. Just because we are on a mission, and it's 800 degrees in here right now, does not mean you can neglect what your other teachers are instructing at the Temple. Perhaps you can study about the humidity levels of the swamps of Dagobah." The master darted from the room just in time to avoid the pillow that flew at his head.

"Not funny, Master. I don't want to think about anything heat related. And I especially don't want to think about trolls!!!"

A chime at the door. Obi-Wan rolled off the couch, landing with a thump on the floor. He debated for a long moment on whether or not to get up. But the chime continued. Whoever it was, was very persistent. "Okay, okay. I'm coming. I'm coming. Stop chiming!" The chiming continued until he slid the door open. "I said STOP CHIMING! Oh…"

Mrs. Palto, wife of the governor, stood on the other side of the door. Her entire short stumpy body seemed entirely too happy. She held out her four arms. "Knight Kenobi! I mean, Obi-Wan. Good to see you again. I understand you and that sexy master of yours are having trouble with the heat? I guess I was wrong when I said that Master Jinn couldn't get any hotter than he already was." She moved her head back and forth to see around the boy, then barged right past him, into the room. "Where he is? I've been thinking about that man since this heat hit. Oh, have I been thinking about him. Whew. That fine fine man. Mmmph! Where is he?"

"Ah, he's ah…" he really didn't want to tell her, for fear of her reaction, but at this point, he needed any distraction from the heat. "He's in the tub."

The dark blue-skinned woman fluttered on her feet and fanned herself with three of her hands. "Oh, honey. You know how to put my heart a beatin' fast, don't you?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Okay."

"Will he be long? Oh, I should watch what I say, shouldn't I? You're just a youngin'. He's still not married, right? Oh, never mind me, I'm just all stirred up. Of course he didn't marry since I've seen you both last. Is he still ah…you know…"

The boy's face turned a brighter shade of red then the heat had already caused. "I really don't want to think about that, Mrs. Palto. Thank you. Can I get you a drink?"

"No, honey. You look exhausted. Don't you sleep much?"

A puzzled look shot over the padawan's face. "No, it's not that, it's just a tad hot right now. My body is not used to this type of change. Human's are not designed to handle severe heat such as this. This is not normal or comfortable. Is this normal?"

"Heat. Hot. Just like that master of yours. Mind if I sit while I wait for him?" She didn't wait for his approval. She just helped herself and grabbed a seat."

"Um, okay. No drink then, I guess?"

"I'd like to drink up that sexy beast of a master of yours, is what I'd like to do."

"Okay," Obi-Wan moved to the kitchen, needing to do anything to not hear what she was saying. "I'll get you that drink now. Okay? Good. Back soon."

A few minutes later, he came back to the living area just as Qui-Gon was coming from the bathroom. Obi-Wan lowered his head, and let the drinks fall from his hands. "Oh crap." He saw what his master was wearing. Or what he wasn't wearing. A long pair of thin pants. And that was it. He was barefooted. Bare-chested. And his hair was pulled from it's tie so that it lay on his shoulders. _Oh, it's all over now._ He said to himself. _I'm…it's…oh, such a bad move, Master. A very very bad move._

Mrs. Palto…well, all Obi-Wan could think of was it was a good thing she was sitting down. Her bright yellow eyes found Qui-Gon's as soon as he entered the room and removed the towel from his head, after briefly toweling his hair. Qui-Gon's immediate reaction, upon seeing her, was the same as Obi-Wan's. "Oh crap."

Mrs. Palto stood up as Qui-Gon walked toward her. It was too late for him to turn and run from the room to avoid her. He smiled gently and she nearly melted to the floor. "Oh, Master Jinn. You have no idea what you've just done to me. There truly is a romance God out there, isn't there? Because he brought you to me like…this. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my." Taking two of her hands, she let them walk up and down and around his chest when he stood too close. "Oh goodness. Sexy beast indeed. Me-ow! Oh my. Ripped, ripped, ripped, ripped, ripped! Would you look at that chest! Mmmph! Whew! Is he hot in here, or is it just me?"

Qui-Gon backed away and bowed, trying to keep his face from turning as red as a sith's blade. The same color Obi-Wan's was at the moment. "It's good to see you again, Mrs. Palto. How can I help you?"

Kenobi's thoughts immediately went to himself again. _Master, don't ask her that. Of all the things to ask, don't ask that."_

Without hesitation, the blue woman responded. "You could do things for me that you can't even imagine, you fine fine fine spice of a man!"

"Perhaps you can tell me what you need quickly?" _No, Master, another very bad choice of words._ "I really need to turn in soon and get some rest. So…"

"What I need? What I need and what you can give are two different things, since you are a Jedi. Such a shame though. I would love to show you what I need. Quickly."

_Put a shirt on, Master. Quickly. No, oh damn. Don't say that word. Hurry, Master. Shirt. On. Now. Before she tackles you and begins drooling and then…other things that I really don't need to be thinking about right now. Wait, too late. The drool started as soon as he walked out here. Here, I'll give throw you a lifeline._ "Master, your shirt is on the back of the chair next to the glass door." _Whew. Saved him._

"Ah, yes. Thank you, Obi-Wan. I should dress when have guests, shouldn't I?"

_Quick thinking, Master. Real quick. Put the shirt on now. Hurry. Please. Before she starts again._

"A shirt?" Mrs. Palto's eyes went huge, a mocking shocked expression on her chubby features. "No need for that. I'm sure that fabric is itchy when it's so hot. I'd be glad to scratch your back for you. Your front too, Mr. Sexy Beast."

_That's it. I need ear plugs. I can't hear this. Lalalalalala._

"No, it's not itchy. It might actually help cool me down a bit though. I really should put it on." Qui-Gon reached for the shirt that she had now taken from the chair to hold for a moment. And to smell? She put her nose to the cloth and inhaled a deep breath. "Mrs. Palto…please…"

"Oh, that's good so mmmm…delightful. And no need to call me Mrs. Palto. My name is Yaddela. Please, call me that."

Obi-Wan, who had just refilled the glasses that he'd dropped moments ago, and had taken a long cold taste, immediately spit the entire mouthful out upon hearing the name. _This just keeps getting worse. Don't laugh, Master. Please don't laugh. Just get the shirt from her, put it on and walk away. I really don't want to think about you and some woman named Yaddela together. I'll just get these horrid pictures of Yaddle in my head and I REALLY don't want that to happen. This is supposed to be a troll free mission!_

"Yadde…ah, Mrs. Palto. It really is customary for Jedi as ambassadors to refer to their hosts by their surname. I hope you don't mind." Qui-Gon was flustered, although he did manage to keep from laughing, to Obi-Wan's relief. He reached for the shirt.

"How about you and me move past the ambassador/host relationship and move into a more mmmm…intimate relationship?" Her yellow eyes winked and fluttered.

Qui-Gon grabbed the shirt from her and put it on. Her face immediately showed disappointment. "Perhaps you should go now, Mrs. Palto. Obi-Wan and I need our rest." He held a hand up towards her to stop her from saying what he knew was coming. "And yes, I need to rest alone. I do not need your company. Thank you."

Eyes fell to the floor, catching sight of the naked Jedi toes. "Have I told you how much I love toes? I could massage your feet for you in ways that would…"

"NO! Please! My toes are fine just the way they are. They don't need any additional attention." He began moving towards the door. "Let me see you out, I'm sure you're a busy woman and have appointments to keep."

"Yes, my precious Pregas is probably waiting for his full-body massage right about now."

_Oh, I do not want to think about that. Please go. Can I will you out the door? Would it be wrong to use the Force to physically push you out the door? Please leave. Please leave. Please leave. Please leave. Please leave._

Obi-Wan was very close to actually picking her up and tossing her out, when she finally stepped outside the door of the suite.

"Now remember, anytime you need to let that sexy bod of your air out a bit, you know where I live, sugar."

"Actually I don't, and don't really want to, thank you very much. Good night."

Qui-Gon slid the door shut as quickly as he could, his shoulders fell and he let out an enormous sigh. "That woman, Obi-Wan…She needs a hobby or something. I just don't know about her."

"She has a hobby, Master. You." The boy replied with a smirk. "Of course that still doesn't make things any cooler around here. You think this weather will break tomorrow? Maltos said, it shouldn't last longer than forty-eight hours. Feels like it's been forty-eight days."

"It's been thirty-one days. On this plant that is. And I don't see an end anywhere in sight. All I see are politicians that scream like women in distress. Whacky weather that can melt a human body. Food that makes us stop, drop and run. And a hormone driven Governor's wife with four arms. I need a nap." He moved to the couch, flopped onto it, pulled his paper novel from the table and tried to take his mind off the intense heat that threatened to melt his brain. "I suggest you grab a spot, try to calm your mind and body…and hope that tomorrow brings relief. Of course I'm referring to weather relief because we know that there will be no relief from the political squabbles in the near future. Just…relax."

Wiping the sweat away from his face, Obi-Wan let out a deep breath. It was at times like this when he wished he had that same uncanny ability that his master did to retreat into a book or another interest and lose himself for hours at a time. But all the padawan could think about at the moment was the just-ended encounter between his stoic teacher, Qui-Gon Jinn and his groupie, Yaddela Palto.

A snicker became a giggle. A giggle became a laugh. A laugh became Obi-Wan Kenobi falling into the reclining chair, holding his stomach in pain as the laughter completely took over. He locked gazes for a second with his master, who could only shake his head. Then Obi-Wan rolled right off the chair. Howling.

END


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